Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Conversation With My Cardboard Villain

For the past few weeks, I've been reeeeeeeeaaaaaally sick. *sigh...*

I've also been talking to the cute-but-deadly villain of my current WIP (Lexie's story). My baddie has agreed to let me post the transcript of our most important conversation, which I hope will help other writers see the many flaws-

(Cardboard Villain interrupts to glare at me. A LOT.).

I mean... Not flaws, exactly... Just... You know...

(Yep. Still glaring. A LOT MORE.)

Okay, so here we go:

Me: "Hello, baddie! How are you today?"

Villain: *yawns* "Bored."

Me: *scratches head* "Bored? Why on earth would you be bored? Isn't plotting world domination supposed to be, like, super fun?"

Villain: *shrugs* "To most villains, I guess. But personally, I'm getting kind of sick of chasing after power all the time."

Me: *stares blankly*

Villain: *rolls eyes* "Listen, I know you're probably brain dead from having to rewrite your erased first draft, but don't you think that you could give me more depth? Don't you think that I should have some sort of purpose in this story? You know, something that explains why I'm a badass?"

Me: *stares blankly while drool slips from corners of mouth*

Villain: "Amparo? You still there?"

Me: ...

Villain: "I knew it. You're brain dead."

Me: "I'm not brain dead! I'm just... just... just..."

Villain: "Predictable?" *grins while winking* "Uninspired?"

Me: ...

Villain: "Why don't you take some time to think about it? My depth, I mean. Who am I, why I'm evil, why getting what I want matters so much... The good stuff. The stuff that sets me apart from all the other villains out there, who are just power hungry because there's no other way to be a villain. Because writers make them that way instead of giving them a story readers will believe. What do you say, Amparo? Wanna make me more than just a cardboard villain or not?"

Me: *nods while removing saliva from jaw* "Yes, baddie. I do."

Villain: Excellent. Now go get me something sharp and shiny to kill that lame ass character I loathe."


How about you? What does your villain want from the story? Does he/she think they're awesome? Or do they want a little more meat to those bones?


  1. Glad you're back, Amparo!

    My villain wants to go unrealized until the end. ;)

  2. haha, this convo with your villian made me laugh. Did i read that right - you lost your whole first draft? That sucks. Glad you're feeling better though!

  3. Glad you're feeling better!
    I don't want to have a discussion with my bad guy because he's such a slimeball.
    Ha ha.

  4. Thanks for the warm welcome, girls! I'm still dealing with leftover mucus (did I just type that???), but I'm feeling a helluva lot better. WIP, here I come!!

    Hope you keep those baddies in check, ladies! Show them who's boss.

  5. LOL! Fun post, but not so fun feeling yucky. Ugh! :-)

  6. Omg! My comment disappeared into the blogosphere...So I hope I'm not repeating...But this a hysterical post and I too am trying to stir things up with my villian. Good Luck and I hope you feeel better!
    Hey! I'm also real curious to know if you're liking The Guardian of the Dead?? Is it good so far?

  7. Shannon- Thanks for stopping by! And yeah, feeling yucky sucks all kinds of suckiness. Hope to get muuuuuch better soon!

    Slush- Dude! Villains are the worst things ever to get right! Mine is a bit of a toughie, as you can see... And yeah, I'm LOVING Guardian of the Dead! I'm only about halfway through (blame school and TV), but I am all for Ellie Spencer, the main character. Go, girl power!

  8. Great post. I'm just in the beginning stages of my WIP, so I've not had many conversations with my villian yet.

    Good luck with your writing!

  9. Hi, Jessica! Thanks for the well wishes! Sending tons more your way!

    And if your villain gets nasty, I'll send mine over to kick some badass booty ;)