I Would Have Given ANYTHING To Be Like...

The fabulous and uber-talented Kirsten Hubbard wrote a book. It's called Like Mandarin. It is on its way to me as we speak (hurry, FedEx!!!!). But I've read snippets on her blog, and oh. My. Lord.

As Michelle Hodkin said, "she is f*cking talented."

In honor of Like Mandarin, Elana Johnson and LiLa Roecker are throwing a non-blogfest. All you have to do is share a little secret:

So. I have two answers. One is the person I wished I was in high school. The other is the person I wished I were now (aside from Mrs. Jensen Ackles, of course...).

In high school, I would have given anything to be like...

Kurt Hummel from GLEE. 

Yes, he's a dude. Bear with me. He can sing. And dance. And has great hair. And great clothes. But the real reason why I wanted to be like him?

He knows who he is.

At seventeen, I didn't have a clue who I was. Other people knew waaaaay earlier than me. They'd encourage me to keep writing plays, acting in our school's theatre group, and reading books no one had heard about. But I didn't want to do that. I wanted to be pretty. Fun. Fearless. The girl boys couldn't stop looking at. 

I wanted to be like my friends. I convinced myself I was like my friends. 

Kurt is the total opposite of me, but his confidence blows me away. Of course he gets sad, but he doesn't regret being the way he is. He just regrets that very few others can see how happy he is with himself, and that he'll never change for anyone. 

He would've slapped me across the face if he'd met my seventeen-year-old self. But hey, she totally deserved it :)

Right now, I would give anything to be like...

Kirsten Hubbard. Duh.

At this point in my life, I know who I am. I'm a Literature grad student who finally owned up to loving books and theatre. I'm obsessed with movies and TV, especially with characters and premises. 

I'm a writer.

But I'm not nearly as good as Kirsten. 

I'm still learning, and she's one of my teachers. She doesn't know it, of course, but I hope I get the chance to tell her face-to-face how much her prose pushes me to be better. To not settle for 'okay'. To see  beauty where others see nothing special. 

Kurt and Kirsten, thank you :)