I'm weird. Let me give you an example of my weirdness (this didn't really happen, so no worries):
A friend of mine runs on a wet section of the floor. He slips and falls. I watch him slip and fall.
I don't run over to help him up. I don't gasp. I don't blink.
Standing a good five feet away from him, I ask, "are you okay?"
If he says yes, I stay where I am and watch him get up. If he says no, I stay where I am and ask, "you think I can help?"
I he says yes, I help him up. If he says no, I stay where I am and watch him get up.
Moral of the story: I never rush to anyone's side.
I never take their ability to get up by themselves for granted. Doesn't matter if they hit the floor literally or figuratively. I never assume someone needs my help.
Or my encouragement.
This is what today's post is all about--encouraging those who don't really need it. Or even deserve being encouraged too much. Falls happen for a reason, folks. They're supposed to hurt. But the person who falls has to feel that pain. If he (or she) doesn't, what was the fall good for?
Now I don't mean you shouldn't help people. *chuckles* Of course you should, good citizens of the world! I'm talking about helping people feel better when they're supposed to be learning why the sucky things are happening. About showering them with warm and fuzzy when they should be wrapped up in shivers. Nothing gets on my nerves more than seeing people being nice just for the sake of being nice.
"But THAT'S who I am," says Enabler. "I'm a nice person. Therefore, I will be nice to everybody. Because that's who I am. Nice. Oh, and did I mention that I'm a nice person???"
So? Go adopt a puppy or something. Stop telling my guy friend the fall was an accident and the world is cold and evil for making him fall.
Reasons, people. There are always reasons.
Anyway, pats on the back, over and over and over again, might make my guy friend believe he did nothing wrong in running on a wet floor. It's the universe's fault. Gravity, you know. It's a tough cookie.
For writers, the same problem arises. If I suck at life, but you don't tell me and let me query my sucktastic manuscript because you don't want to hurt my feelings or (God forbid!) make me disagree with your feedback, you're not helping me at all. (again, this hasn't happened to me, mostly because my CPs are pretty awesome).
I start querying my sucktastic manuscript and get rejected. All the time.
But you tell me it's not my fault. I'm amazing! Agents are just not getting me or my book, you know?
So I query again. Same. Thing. Happens.
I am confused.
Second moral of the story: tell it like it is. Please. I'm on my knees right now. Begging you.
We all have lessons to learn. And we all learn them in different ways.
Nobody should be forced to smile when they want to cry.
Nobody should be forced to be confused about their passion because people around them can't own up to the truth.
*end of rant*