Agent Sarah LaPolla's One-Line Pitch Critique!

I know, I know. I don't post on Fridays.

BUT this exception is worth it. 

Today I'm sharing agent Sarah LaPolla's critique from Reel YA's first ever contest!

But before I jump into Sarah's feedback, here's the winning one-line pitch from Lori M. Lee:

Title: Harbinger

Genre: YA cyberpunk fantasy

Pitch: To save her brother from becoming a Golem, a cybernetically enhanced soldier, 17-yr-old Kai must uncover the secrets of her dying city and defy its supernatural rulers.

And here's what Sarah had to say: 

This is a great one-sentence pitch in that I know who the main character is, what type of world she lives in, and what will be at stake for her. What made me pause a little was the mention of a Golem as a cybernetic creature. I’m curious to see where the original Golem myth comes into play, if it does at all. It might make it clearer to say “cybernetically enhanced Golem” and let us know what he is fighting for (or what he’s told he’s fighting for), so we get a better sense of how this story will be different. I love the second part of this sentence. I can visualize a dark, decaying city that’s been taken over by these soldiers. It paints a grim picture, but promises action and a strong sense of character. I also like that the person she is fighting for is her brother, and not a love interest. The familial connection makes her fight that much more tangible for the reader, and I can tell that it will be a bond worth rooting for.

Not only did Sarah offer amazing feedback, but she also requested the first three chapters of Lori's manuscript! Congrats, Lori!! 

One-line pitches are very hard to pull off, but as shown by Lori, it's not impossible. I hope her pitch and Sarah's feedback provide a clearer picture for those of you still struggling with your pitches! 

And in case you're craving more agent feedback, stay tuned for Weronika Janczuk's turn soon! Also, I'm throwing another One-Line Pitch Contest next month, so keep your eyes peeled for that!

Now tell me: what's the hardest thing about one-line pitches for you? How do you tackle such a short description of your manuscript without losing your mind? 

One-Line Pitch Critique Contest WINNERS!

Thanks SO MUCH to everyone who entered Reel YA's first contest!! Trust me. There are more to come! 

Now. With the help of Random.org, I've chosen two winners to have their pitches critiqued by agents Weronika Janczuk and Sarah LaPolla. 

Ready?

Here they are! :)

The winner of Weronika's one-line pitch critique is:

Taryn!

The winner of Sarah's one-line pitch critique is:

Lori M. Lee!

CONGRATS, ladies!! I'll be sending you an email shortly!

And remember: both Weronika and Sarah have graciously agreed to share their feedback here on the blog, so stay tuned for that! 

Have a great day, everyone :)

One-Line Pitch Critique Contest Starts NOW!!

Welcome to Reel YA's first contest, everyone! 

You know how movies have loglines? Those one sentences that sum up what the movie's about? Whether you read them on a poster, or after hitting INFO on your TV remote, loglines help audiences know if the movie will be up their alley or not. Well, one-line pitches do the same thing for agents. 

That's why I decided to throw a One-Line Pitch Critique Contest! 

Here are the official rules:

1) You must be a follower to enter.

2) Leave a comment with your email address in this post.

3) There will be two winners, both chosen via random.org. You don't have to write your one-line pitch in the comments. If you're one of the winners, I will email you to ask for your pitch, which I will then send to one of the agent judges. 

4) The contest ends on Monday, October 3rd. Winners will be announced on Tuesday, October 4th. After the agent judges have read and critiqued the winning pitches, their critiques will be posted on the blog. This is so followers can read the critiques and apply the agents' advice to their one-line pitches.

5) The pitches must be for projects in genres the agent judges represent (read below for agent profiles!).

6) Both agents may or may not request more pages from their winners. 

And now for the agent judges!

Weronika Janczuk is a literary agent with Lynn Franklin Associates. Previously she worked with the D4EO Literary Agency and the Bent Agency, as well as at Flux, among others. Currently she represents a wide range of fiction and non-fiction for YA and adults alike—and is very actively building her list, especially  in areas of crime fiction (especially espionage and literary suspense/thrillers), fantasy/sci-fi, horror, women’s fiction and romance, both literary and high-concept YA, memoir, and narrative non-fiction.

Sarah LaPolla began at Curtis Brown in 2008, working with Dave Barbor and Peter Ginsberg. Sarah is interested in literary fiction, narrative nonfiction, urban fantasy, paranormal romance, science fiction, literary horror, and young adult fiction. She loves complex characters, coming-of-age stories, and strong narrators. Sarah graduated from Ithaca College with a degree in Writing and English, and went on to receive her MFA in Creative Writing from The New School. 

You have one week to polish those pitches for Weronika and Sarah, folks! Get to it!

And good luck!