Trick-or-Treaters You Should Stay Away From...

Happy Halloween, folks! Hope you're stocked up on candy and spooky reads today! 

Me? Well, I'm... scared.

You see, trick-or-treaters will knock on my door tonight. And although I love giving people unhealthy foods, I may just keep all my lollipops to myself when these dudes come around.

Here's my Halloween Survival Guide: Trick-or-Treaters You Should Stay Away From:

Muscles? HA! Nobody cares, dude. Nobody cares. If he shows up half-naked to your doorstep, he should not be trusted, people. Plus, nobody cares about muscles.

*stares at muscles*

Do not take his hand. Ever. No matter how deep and reassuring his voice is when he says he'll save your life. Dudes that do this might kidnap the heck out of you, okay? Say no to the hand.

Why do I insist on staying away from all this pretty?

Oh, come on. You know the truth about pretty, don't you?

STAY AWAY FROM THE PRETTY!!

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go chain myself to the wall before The Pretty ring my doorbell.

*flees*

Are you prepared for The Pretty today? What survival tips work best for you?